One of the purest sources of peace and excitement for me these days; Milestones.
Today we reached one milestone that I thought was note worthy and I wanted to share with everyone. Today, Warren was able to feel baby moving from the outside ❤
It took longer this time, understandably, as when there were two of them packed in there the movements became more obvious to an outside observer than when only one has all that room, but it was a heartwarming moment non-the-less (to me at least.)
We are also looking forward to the famous 20 week ultrasound just two weeks away when we plan on hosting a little party (and sharing on Living Lemonade’s facebook page live of course,) to reveal babes gender!!
Since I am frequently asked, yes we DO have names picked out for babe- we haven’t yet decided when we will share those but I anticipate sharing a post filled with the meanings and reasons behind the names once we do.
I find it very therapeutic to sit and “plan” out some of these milestones and other bits of pregnancy to cope through the worry and anxiety of it all- and more and more recently whenever I DO sit more quietly and still I notice more and more of baby’s activity inside.
Feeling him/her move inside me is reassuring at the moment, until later when I’m busy and moving and suddenly worry if it’s been too long since I’ve felt them move and I have to stop, sit and wait to be reassured that all is well in wombville.
I am still sick every so often, and mostly in the mornings these days. I am CONSTANTLY hungry. Like even when eating a meal I am hungry and 20 minutes after finishing a meal I am hungry again and so on. With the lower blood pressure and other symptoms (round ligament pain…) building up, long work/school days make me more sore than ever. But I wouldn’t change it for the world. All of that mentioned above, including the anxiety and non-mentioned ailments are worth the journey to me.
I have strangely felt closer and more longing for the boys the further into this pregnancy we get, however. More often in these past weeks have random things seemed to trigger deep contemplation and longing the way so many things did in those early months after they passed. In some ways it is a welcome wave of grief because the “easier” times sometimes just build up “grief guilt.” It is conflicting, and emotional. I blame the extra does of hormones.
If one thing is for sure to me, it is that this pregnancy is a gift from God to teach me, strengthen me and remind me that my family (earthly and heavenly,) is my motivation and we will live together again one day.