A year ago I doubted I would ever say the things I am about to share. I was only months into a life I never imagined I’d lead, and still a little hurt by many of the well-meaning words others said to me.
And yet, here I am, a year later… still grieving, but wiser.
This last year has been a tough one.
Walking the road of a newly bereaved mother and trying to find my purpose again was especiall
y difficult while being a full time student. And the miscarriage in the spring sent me into a spiral of mental and emotional adversity.
Despite it all, I am thankful.
I am thankful for the months I had with my sons. The growth they had and the experience I gained.
I am thankful for my angels now. I feel them with me day to day and am constantly blessed by their grace.
I am thankful for m
y marriage. What we have gone through in our two years has brought
us together where so many others are torn apart. I am so grateful for a loving, supportive and kind husband who knows just how to help me through my trials.
I am thankful for my testimony, and the knowledge that I will have those babies with me again one day, and then for eternity.
I am thankful for my trials. Through my experiences and struggles surrounding building our family I have come to understand so many others better and feel for them. My efforts in dealing with mental illness has also given me the wisdom to realize the difficulty that thousands of people struggle with daily.
There will never come a time that I will not miss my babies. I will always wonder what life might have been like and wish I’d had the chance to know them and watch them grow.
But despite it all, I have grown.
We all have our struggles we are dealing with, after all what is life but a test for each of us. Perspective in all things is the greatest blessing you can gain. And what better time to realize the positives than during this holiday season.
Having your family surrounding you now is the biggest positive to remind yourself of. Perspective is the greatest blessing, and focusing that perspective on your family and loved ones is the brightest star shining today.