Today has Been a Struggle

I try to be candid with you as much as possible.

I try to be “pinterest perfect” and “post worthy,” a lot. But I want to be real first and foremost.

Today has been a struggle.

The thing is, if you were to glimpse a bit of my life today it would seem pretty picturesque. My house is, for the most part, clean and organized. My baby is contented and cared for. My husband is working and providing. Our needs and many wants are met.

And yet…

Today has been a struggle.

And not the struggle to find motivation, as it can be some days. I was motivated enough this morning. I did laundry, cleaned the nursery, fed myself and the baby, etc. But it felt like I was just moving through the motions of life, it felt empty and frustrating.

And the MOST frustrating part of how I was feeling is that my conscious mind knows I should be feeling happy and fulfilled and accomplished. I have met many of my goals recently and have even been recognized for it in many ways. I am becoming more and more the woman and mother I have been wanting to be.

But Depression doesn’t recognize that.

Depression doesn’t work like my conscious self does.

Depression twists your perspective and smothers your light even when you feel like it should be burning bright.

Today has been a struggle.

A struggle to get up. A struggle to respond. A struggle to care. A struggle to function.

All progress seems menial. All tasks seem futile. Overall living is a burden.

With anything good comes trials.

I believe strongly that it isn’t just in spite of all my success and efforts, it is because of these that I am struggling with these feelings and thoughts. The closer I come to reaching my potential and growing in glory, the harder the adversary fights.

I know I have the potential to become great, and to spread light. But on days like today, that testimony is challenged in its very existence.

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Why am I writing this.

Because I want you to know you’re not alone.

Or, more truthfully, I want to know I am not alone…

And because this isn’t it.

Today was a struggle- BUT it doesn’t mean tomorrow will be.

Today was a struggle- BUT tonight will be better.

Today was a struggle- BUT if I give it all to Him, my “burdens will become light” and I will be made equal to the challenges that face me. And the same goes for you.