October is a wonderful month full of fun and fall. Halloween is widely loved and celebrated. Breast Cancer awareness is spread and supported… But two years and two months ago, the month gained a new purpose for me. Bringing understanding and support to those who are suffering, grieving, and still breathing through their loss.
Today, October 15th, is Pregnancy and Infancy Loss Awareness Day. Although, those of us who live through the grieving don’t designate one day to remember, it is a day to spread awareness and share experience. To find comfort in common grief and to shore up for the next weeks that bring some of the hardest days– Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and all the holiday flurry that gives the earth a cheery glow but does bring acute awareness of that hole our babies left.
It can be hard to understand the unique pain that Pregnancy and Infancy Loss brings. For many, they look in and think, “hasn’t the time come that you move on and get over it.” Living with our grief daily, words like this are surprisingly common and bring an added amount of guilt to the already difficult days.
The loss isn’t something to move on from or get over, it is something we each have to move through, grow in, and gain perspective from. No amount of time diminishes the loss, no rainbow replaces the storm, rather the experience molds and shapes us as people and parents.
Everyone is called to carry some burden. For PAIL parents, that includes enduring a life without a piece of our hearts. But we are given the extra strength and light we need from those little angels we are racing through life to get to.
For my PAIL friends, be kind to yourself today and always, and may your angel be close tonight especially.
For everyone else. Thank you. Thank you for choosing to “be aware.” Thank you for your kind words, thoughts and actions. Thank you for remembering our babies, saying their names or thinking of them for us. Thank you for trying to understand, and most of all thank you for giving the time to care.
As always; in loving memory of my sons and little one lost too soon…