I have been thinking a lot about motivation and purpose in life lately, and been having a hard time finding my own sometimes. Days can go by in which I am only going through the motions of life rather than making bold choices to live how I want to now. It’s looked down upon by the world for a woman to have her sole purpose in life be the raising and rearing of her children, but without mine here it sometimes feels like that was my number one purpose and that now what am I to do? But I do have purpose and direction, even if the easiest thing for me to look forward to at this time are more children in my future.
But there is a logical and acceptable reason for my feeling so baby-centered as I do. It’s a one word, plain answer.
My body is raging with them.
Our bodies are smart and know how do deal with sickness, pain, and even pregnancy loss. But infant loss is confusing. As far as my body is concerned- it finished the job of building those boys and delivered them too. But with the absence of their hormones for my body to communicate with began the confusion. I had to recover from the birth, and my milk came in. I pumped for a few months, but the schedule and physical drain was too much for me to keep up with while mourning. After the six weeks of bleeding and recovery, my cycle returned. By now my body knew the boys were gone, but still there were a few baby-minded hormones sticking behind and preparing my body to try again, and soon.
Anyway– it is these hormones that also complicate my day-to-day motivation seeking- other than the reasoning of baby wishing.
I am learning to do the things I want to for me or for my husband rather than just a means to an end. (Although, to be honest, many of the things I do still are motivated from that baby hunger deep deep within me.)
Motivation. It comes from yourself. Nobody else can convince you that you want to do, or be something. That’s the funny thing about us humans… We love to place blame for problems and mistakes when really it’s all just part of life. Learning, growing, motivating. Serving. That’s the biggest one to me. I was reminded by a number of lessons this last week how important serving others is.
When it’s hard to find the motivation do to something for you, help someone. And you find yourself happier and more motivated to continue doing.
This makes me think of an issue I’ve been thinking a lot about recently. I need to stand on my soap box for a minute here…
Why is it that in life everyone strives so much to be completely independent? Why does society promote loneliness- in parenting, living and so much more? To the point that in some cases people get offended when offered help. (Example “I don’t take no handouts…”) What is so appealing about standing alone?
Now don’t get me wrong, I think it is important to be self sufficient and to work hard. There is value and power in being individual and independent. However I think it is so sad that accepting help or assistance is frowned upon by society. This life is all about trials and challenges. What we go through here makes us who we are- makes us stronger and more valiant. But equally as important as the challenges we face are the people we turn to for support and the way we choose to serve and support others.
Our relationships are what last longer than just this life. I am a firm believer that the way you interact and treat others is far more important than any academic or business achievement. That is what we are truly here to learn- how to love and serve each other to the best of our abilities. Regardless of hardships we face, regardless of difference in opinion or faith or nationality. We are tested to see whether we will be the “bigger person.”
Once I read on a social media post, “Don’t cross oceans for someone who would’t cross a puddle for you,” when the truth is we should cross oceans, and climb mountains, and give every ounce we can because that is what Christ would do. Ins’t that the real goal- to be like He is?
Thank You as always for your time, and thoughts.
My challenge to you this week is to do something for you. If that seems hard, then give a little more and remind yourself that you also deserve the love you are showing others. Happy Spring (: