Published on my personal blog; lifewiththefebbos.blogspot on 4/20/16
Letter may not have been quite an accurate description…
An Open Post to Twin Mothers (and other mothers who may have some insight for me.) or anyone interested at all…
Yeah that sounds better.
I am a first time young mother pregnant with a spontaneous set of mono-di twins. My husband, Warren, and I live in Rexburg, Idaho and are still attending college. I am one of those think-ahead type who likes to make a plan and then alter it slightly until the actual time is at hand- So while I am pregnant, I have been thinking of how home life will be in our small two bedroom apartment with twins. Thinking about sleeping, about cooking meals, about what I’ll need to double up, about recovery and postpartum things. Just a little of everything. Of course, like any woman of this century, I have my Pinterest boards where I pin the things I read (or want to read) about all this, but sometimes I wonder just how much I’ll realistically be able to handle. So many of those blogging mothers seem so unrealistic to me, or at least different enough from me that I don’t see myself doing things exactly as they did. I know that everybody is different and I can’t expect myself to handle pregnancy or motherhood the way someone else does, but I do wish sometimes that it would be as easy as it seems. I am extremely blessed with a selfless husband who helps and supports me in all the ways… dishes, cleaning, getting me the random food cravings… You know, the works.
One of my first thoughts is concerning where the four of us will sleep. For the first few weeks after delivery, I plan on using our spare bedroom (or the future nursery) as sleeping quarters for my mother and then my sister-in-law who will be in town to help me. Regardless of this, for at least the first couple months of the babies lives I plan on having them share a crib in our own bedroom for easy middle-of-the-night nursing and such. I’d like to get one of those Graco fold-up ones that I can put two bassinets next to each other in. I do worry about the factor that if they share a bed, when one wakes up, most likely the other will too… But I figure that if they had their own beds but shared a room anyway that would still likely happen. So, until they are a little bigger and can’t share one bed, I can keep them in our room. That’s the tentative plan.
Get Two, or not Get Two
For many people, the first thing they tell/ask me when they learn I’m having twins would be, “Oh, so two of everything, eh?” Most twin moms have been telling me that, in reality, two of everything just gets to be excessive rather than helpful- and common sense would defiantly agree. But there are many things in that grey area of whether or not to get two… Like electric baby swings for instance. Many mothers have told me its a life saver to have both kids their own swing, but some say you’d only be using one at a time anyway. I would think that if I get one electric swing and one bouncer (the kind that vibrate,) that I could switch the two of them between those. And cribs- I plan on using just one while they’re small enough to share (as I already said,) then getting a second as they grow a bit. But I hear all sorts of opinions on this subject too. There are the obvious things that I’ll want to have two of, like a couple matching outfits, cuz I’m that kind of gal. Although I figure most of their clothes they can share until they’re quite a bit bigger and have different sizes…
The Vehicular Situation
Right now, we have a small, two-door Volvo that is almost categorized as a sports car. Now call me crazy, but ideally I would rather not attempt to use that car with two carseats in the back… Moving the seats and trying to climb around to put babies in the car every time doesn’t sound like convenient traveling. My wish would be to find a used car with few miles on it for a reasonable (low) price. We don’t yet know if buying a new car would be an option for us at all, but right now I feel like I’d pretty much be stuck at home without one. And while we live in Rexburg (which is known for it’s snowy and cold winters) it would be best to have a car with 4-wheel-drive as an option. Which could come in handy when traveling to Utah for the holidays. But that is a whole second set of costs to worry about. We do have options where the car comes, whether we choose to try and sell the current one to get a new one, or try to find a “cash-car” cheap enough to meet our needs.
The Naming Game
Another sensitive topic for any pregnant mother, let alone one expecting twins. Everybody has an opinion on names. You would not believe how many naming suggestions I have already received (thanks to extravagant cousins (;… ) And I don’t even know their gender yet!! Rhyming names, names starting in the same letter, names of famous pairs… Just every twin idea you could come up with… My loving sister has told me that she’d be embarrassing and name them something that rhymed or whatnot… Our problem is we can’t agree on girls names we like. We’ve got a few boys names aside, so if they’re little guys in there we’re pretty well set (most likely…) But with girls we’re a little stumped. Names that I absolutely love, Warren thinks are cliche or something. And many names he suggests, I think are ugly or too common or something.
Pregnancy and Travel/Dancing
Two of Warren and I’s best friends are getting married this summer (in August– in California,) and the sad part of this is that by that time I am 6-7 months preggo with twinners, the usual recommendation would be to NOT travel. So traveling 16 hours by car to get to California would usually not be the best idea for me. I hope that over the next months my doctors visits prove nothing to be worried about and I am cleared to travel. If we did end up going, I would take the drives in smaller sections rather than all at once. My mom’s cousin lives in southern Utah, where we might stop for one night, then maybe we’d stop at an aunts or something the next night. I know it must be uncomfortable to try and drive that much all in one day anyway.
And I know dancing seems to have nothing to do with anything when normal people are pregnant, but I am actually a dance major in school and my favorite hobby is swing dancing- so it’s a relevant concern for me. I had to really censor which dance classes I registered for in this next semester, knowing that as I grow, a lot of moving may not be the most fun/best for me. But, knowing that the classes I really need for graduation are mainly dance classes that made it a little difficult.
I know that twin pregnancies are inherently more likely to be a higher risk pregnancy than that of a “singleton.” I would still prefer to do as much of the pregnancy and labor/birth as naturally as I can, while still doing whats best for the babies and I. The doctor tells me that because of the needs of two babies and not one a lot of the nutrients I’d usually rely on my diet to get, I may have to supplement in some extra vitamins and minerals. I also am working to eat a bit more and put on the needed weight to support the growth of two babies, especially when they gotta share a placenta. I’ve read that the weight I put on early in pregnancy helps later- because when the babies force the stomach out of the way- the extra needed nutrients come from the fat store I build up now. So food is on the brain, and it can be hard to get all the nutrients that would be hoped for for a regular human right now let alone one eating for three with all the morning sickness and whatnot. I know it can be done! And I am attempting to do just that.
All in All
I know that some of these things will magically work themselves out and I won’t go crazy by overthinking everything, but sometimes I do just sit and wonder what I will do.